Sober up

Beth and I went for lunch with the boys yesterday in celebration of GBBF (gay boy best friend) Richard's birthday.

We went to Roast in Borough Market where we dined on potted salt beef, scotch eggs, oysters, guinea fowl, partridge, pork belly, Goosnargh chicken, potatoes cooked in beef dripping, kale with garlic, spinach with pine nuts, English cheeses, damson Queen of puddings, chocolate banoffee pudding, apple and blackberry crumble, whisky and gin cocktails, champagne, English sparkling wine, bottles of Bordeaux, Sauternes, maraschino liqueur, port and sloe gin. It was seriously decadent!

Being an intelligent bunch - consisting of a psychiatrist, an operations manager, a lawyer, a journalist and a government policy adviser - the conversation flowed with the wine and led on to discussions about the X Factor, licking dogs, spotting the fellow gays in the restaurant, how St Paul's Cathedral looks like a big breast (we could see it from our table), how one of our set of parents are currently hob-nobbing with the lesbian sex shop owners down their local golf club, Dynasty, Dollywood, Lip Service, our individual voting records (why do I have so many friends who vote Tory when I am a die hard Labourite?), the Spending Review, siblings, the benefits of Valium on a flight, men visiting the club buffet after coming out of the dark room at XXL (urrrgh!), school days, how drinks and mixers are so much better served in the US (always crushed ice, never cubed), Oxford vs Cambridge university and can men and women ever really be friends, a la When Harry met Sally.

The answer to that last question is yes, if both the male and female in question are gay. Both Beth and I have GBBFs as do many of our Sapphic sisters. You see, in this situation the GBBFs don't need to deal with all that unrequited love which often occurs with fag hags and us gay girls don't have to deal with our heterosexual male 'dikey likeys' having secret lascivious thoughts about us. It can really fuck up a friendship if you subsequently find out that someone is harbouring romantic feelings and has some misguided belief that you would reciprocate and change sexuality if they just tried it on. It doesn't work like that, being gay is not a choice!

After lunch and two drinks in a pub by the Millennium Bridge, the lightweight boys went home, whilst Beth and I carried on down to the Retro Bar for a chaser and then on to the vigil against hate crime in Trafalgar Square. We heard the inspiring Stuart Milk speak (nephew of Harvey) and cried when they read out the names of LGBT people who have died as the result of hate crime in the past ten years. A sobering end to a not so sober day.

A little bit of lippy

Do they not feed their lesbians in Scotland? Are they not aware that the streets of Glasgow are literally bulging with deep-fried Mars Bars and pizzas? Apparently not, given the skeletal specimens on the BBC's new 'lesbian drama', Lip Service, last night. Or, 'vests and non-existent chests' as I am now calling it.

Yes, the ubiquitous tank top made an early appearance and then was on show throughout, adorning the ironing board frontages of a range of characters clearly ripped off from the L Word.

Frankie = moody, skinny, rock chick, female lothario = Shane
Tess = kooky, quirky, femme, blonde = Alice
Becky = straight girl goes experimenting = Jenny
Cat = uptight, control freak career woman = Bette

Plus, do they not realise it's fucking cold in Glasgow? If you're going to walk around in a tank top, low slung jeans and no bra all day, you're gonna get sick!

Despite all of this, I will still watch again next week. Any visibility is better than no visibility.

In the meantime I am going to share a nice Scottish recipe of Cullen Skink to feed those skinny lasses across the border. Well, they need the calories to keep their energy up for all that shaggin'!

Cullen Skink

750 ml full-fat milk
small handful of parsley, (stalks reserved), chopped
1 bay leaf
450g smoked haddock fillets
50 g butter
1 medium onion, finely chopped
200 g buttered mashed potato
salt, and freshly ground pepper

To garnish:

parsley, chopped
4 eggs, poached
croutons

Method

Pour the milk into a saucepan large enough to take the haddock. Add in the parsley stalks, bay leaf and smoked haddock.

Bring to the boil, reduce the heat and simmer for 4 minutes. Remove from direct heat and set aside to infuse for a further 5 minutes.

Remove the haddock, strain the poaching liquid and reserve.

Flake the poached haddock, removing any skin and bones.

Heat the butter in a separate non-stick saucepan. Add in the onions and fry until soft but not browned, around 3-5 minutes, stirring often.

Add in the strained poaching liquid, then stir in the mashed potato until you have a thickened creamy consistency.

Add in the chopped parsley leaves and the flaked haddock and simmer for a further 3-4 minutes.

Season with plenty of black pepper and salt, if needed.

Garnish each serving with a sprinkling of chopped parsley, poached egg and croutons.