Lesbeans

Beans are great. Which are your favourites?

French beans: Les beans, Charlotte's favourite.

Runner beans: a bit stringy and boring in my opinion and far too athletic-sounding.

Black beans: best known for that Chinese restaurant favourite black bean sauce.

Broad beans: these delecterble beans have another name. Click here to see what my alter ego (with a suitably foody name) has to say about them.

Butter beans: I love these - my favourite. Do them Greek style in tomato sauce and serve with stuffed vine leaves and tzatziki. Ambrosia.

Haricot beans: better known as baked beans; store cupboard essential. But don't buy Heinz.

Lesbean: a misspelling of the word that describes us Sapphic sisters.

Has bean: was a lesbean, but now prefers meat and two veg.

Says bean: says they like les beans but really they prefer les saucisson.

Sticky fingers

Here's the recipe for those glazed maple ribs.

Ingredients
2 1/2 lbs pork spareribs
6 fluid ounces maple syrup
2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 tablespoons ketchup (not Heinz...we don't like them and are boycotting all products after pulling their "gay deli" ad after a mere 200 complaints from homophobic bigots!)
1 tablespoon cider vinegar
1 tablespoon Worcestershire Sauce
Salt
2 teaspoons mustard (Swedish or German style is best)
A glug of Bourbon (Jack Daniels or Jim Beam)

Place ribs in a large saucepan, cover with water and bring to the boil. Reduce the heat, cover and simmer for one hour. Drain and place in a shallow dish. In a small saucepan, combine the maple syrup, brown sugar, ketchup, vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, salt, mustard and Bourbon.

Bring to a boil, stirring, and then remove from the heat and pour over the ribs. Toss the ribs to coat well, cover and marinate in the refrigerator for at least two hours. Transfer ribs to a pre-heated oven and cook for about 20 minutes, or until tender and glazed. Serve hot.