Has Nigella gone to seed?

Having missed it last week, Beth and I caught up with Nigella Lawson's new programme on Virgin catch up TV.

Nigella gets her baps out...

I've missed Nigella and her saucy satin black dressing gown, shoving king prawns down her throat (shell included) like a Belgravia dwelling version of Diana from V. Those of you that are children of the 80s will hopefully get that reference.

My friend Sophie recently passed commentary on Nigella's girth, "I saw her on Jonathan Ross the other night and no amount of short denim jackets and long black skirts are going to hide the fact that she looks like she ate all the pies." Well as the saying goes, 'real women have curves' and I think her curves are just dandy. Mix that with a fabulous cleavage, liquid brown eyes with endless lashes and a mane of tumbling brunette locks, then you have quite a tasty package. Plus, she looks great for 50 and she cooks!

I think womanly curves are a bit of an anomaly on the London lesbian scene. On the rare occasions that Beth and I venture out on the scene to places like the Candy Bar, all we ever witness is a sea of tank tops and baggy combats or jeans with canvas belts and arms toned within in inch of their lives. Seriously, what is it about lesbians and tank tops?  Is there a secret rule that implies that everyone should dress like an extra from a Vietnam War film?

I wager that Nigella probably wouldn't suit a tank top. Women with a generous cleavage never do. She and I are in the same boat there. But where we may be lacking that 'temptation in a tank top' look that is so desired by gay girls globally, we certainly triumph should the occasion arise where we can wear a long evening dress with a plunging neckline. Take that, tank top temptresses! You and your sinewy arms and non-existent chests are no match for our beautiful breasts. We are women, hear us roar!

So, Nigella you can be queen of my kitchen anytime. Actually, scrap that, we'd probably fight over who wants to cook. I can just imagine it, wrestling on the kitchen floor with flour flying everywhere, clothing torn, breasts and legs akimbo....am I painting a vivid enough picture for you?